Strong will

The other day Hayden was sitting on Grayce's stool eating a PB&J sandwich he had made himself.  I don't know if it was because he was sitting on her stool, or if he did something else to make her mad, but when I walked in the room I saw Grayce take two slices of bread from the bag and rip them into tiny pieces and chuck them at her brother before running away.  I asked Hayden what that was all about, but he claimed innocent surprise (might be true, but on the other hand he is a pretty big tease).  So I went to talk to Grayce.  She was hiding under her blanket in her bedroom.  She didn't want to talk.  I drug her back to the kitchen and showed her the mess she had made.  I told her to say sorry to her brother.  She pursed her lips tight, glowered, and then snapped, "I'm NOT sorry!"  I told her to sit in time-out until she said she was sorry.  She started crying but sat in time out.  Hayden (with help from the dogs) cleaned up the remaining bread crumbs.  Every few minutes I would prompt Grayce, "Just say you're sorry and you can get up."  She kept crying and would snap, "I'm NOT sorry!"  This went on for 20 minutes!  I figured at that point that she had been punished enough and told her to go play quietly in her room.  I was amazed that a 3yr old would be so determined -to stick to her guns for that long.  I am stubborn.  Hayden is stubborn.  But I felt like with Grayce this was something else.  The next day I was telling one of my patients about what had happened.  She said, "I like her better for not giving in."  I had to admit that it had surprised me and left me with a feeling of admiration that I couldn't explain.  My patient put into words what I was feeling, she said, "She showed Integrity.  She wasn't sorry about what she had done, and she wasn't going to lie and say she was."  I think this incidence stood out to me because Grayce is normally so sweet and quick to apologize.  I never want to pit my will against hers.  I hope I can teach my kids manners while being patient and loving.